ONE MINUTE MELEE: Donkey Kong vs. Pac-Man

Description
''2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! Melee! Which classic game mascot is going to take home the victory? Please, no references to "Pixels".''

Interlude
ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS!

MELEE!

MELEE!
Donkey Kong is shown atop his banana horde in the jungle, gobbling up bananas by the seconds and throwing out the peels. Then he notices that his horde is beginning to sink, somehow.

He looks down to see Pac-Man eating his bananas, then he angrily beats his chest then jumps down, shaking the ground. Pac-Man looks around in confusion and fear.

STAND YOUR GROUND!

Pac-Man jumps in shock.

FIGHT!

Donkey Kong runs toward Pac-Man and throws a giant punch, which Pac-Man nimbly evades. He throws a pixellated apple at Donkey Kong's head, temporarily knocking the ape over. Pac-Man then attempts to run off, but Donkey Kong angrily gets back up and begins chasing after Pac.

Pac-Man runs behind a tree to catch his breath, then places a trampoline on the ground right in front of Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong trips over a branch then lands headfirst into the trampoline, and is launched many feet into the air. Pac-Man wipes his brow and gives a relieved "phew!", but then Donkey Kong lands right on top of Pac-Man. Pac-Man struggles to get out from underneath, but then Donkey Kong rolls over as Pac-Man is coated in metal. Donkey Kong punches the metal Pac-Man... but Pac-Man is unaffected as Donkey Kong retracts his hand and winces in pain.

Pac-Man then throws a metal key at Donkey Kong, tripping the ape over. Donkey Kong quickly gets back up as Pac-Man reverts to his base form - and panics. Pac runs around frantically in circles as Donkey Kong pounds the ground, creating a shockwave that sends Pac upward. In mid-air, Donkey Kong fires a few rounds from his coconut gun at Pac-Man. Then Pac-Man pulled out a large power pellet and eats it. Then he grows to a gigantic size as Donkey Kong's eyes widen.

Donkey Kong tries to run away, but Pac-Man quickly begins to catch up. Pac-Man chomps down, then chomps again, then continually chomps - then he reverts to his base form as Donkey Kong emerges with some slight bruises. Donkey Kong then grabs Pac-Man with one hand then throws him skyward, then as he lands Donkey Kong pounds Pac-Man into the ground and immobilizes him.

Then Donkey Kong beats Pac-Man's head like a bongo drum and plays his famous Kongo Beat.

K.O.!

THIS MELEE'S VICTORY GOES TO...

DONKEY KONG!