Paul Blart vs Sonic.EXE



Paul Blart vs Sonic.EXE is Shrek-it's 11th OMM.

Description
''Can an awful and obese mall cop take down a shitty Creepypasta? Find out in 60 seconds!''

Beginning
ONE MINUTE MELEE

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS

TWO FIGHTERS

NO RESEARCH

60 SECONDS

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

Fight
Paul Blart, for some reason, is walking around on Green Hill Zone, but when he sees an evil hedgehog kill a yellow fox.

Paul: You know that's animal abuse right? I'm going to call PETA.

Sonic.EXE: RAH! I am evil.

Paul: I think you'd be a good pet for the pet shop.

NOTHING CAN STOP THE BLART, ENGAGE!

60 Seconds
Sonic.EXE runs at Paul Blart, but slips on marbles and falls down. Blart picked up Sanic.EXE and threw him into a Palm Tree, where he got hit in the head with seven coconuts.

Paul: You suck at this.

50 Seconds
Shit.EXE then attempts to hit Blart, but Blart uses his stegway and runs over the hedgehog. Sonic.EXE comes back together, but is hit again by the Stegway. Paul Blart farts, causing Terrible.EXE to blindly hit a tree.

40 Seconds
Paul: Why do you always hit a tree? Are you in love with it?

Ironic.EXE then uses his dumb spindash in an attempt to do something, but Paul Blart throws some sand at his eyes, causing the Creepypasta failure to go blind and trip over a rock.

Sonic.EXE: No more mister nice demon!

30 Seconds
Paul Blart then headbutts the hedgehog, causing Sonikku.EXE to lose balance. The failure trips, causing him to get a bloody nose. Paul Blart laughes and coughs, causing Sonic.EXE to get sick.

20 Seconds
Sonic.EXE: How am I losing to this human?

Paul: Because you're weak as hell.

Sonic.EXE then throws a punch, but it doesn't do anything to Blart. He rapidly attacks over and over again, but nothing happens. Stupid.EXE then realizes he's worthless, so he attempts to do a kick. But nothing happens.

10 Seconds
Paul Blart then sneezes on Dumbass.EXE, causing him to fall down. Paul Blart then squishes the unfrightening hedgehog and farts on his head, causing the awful, demonic version of Sonic to blow up.

KO!

Paul: That was easy

Paul Blart gets on his stegway and drives away.

Conclusion
THIS MELEE'S WINNER GOES TO..PAUL BLART!