Luigi vs Yamcha?

Description
This One Minute Melee features Luigi from the Super Mario Bros series and Yamcha from Dragon Ball Z. These two underdogs have gotten plenty of disrespect from their peers and fans alike over the years. While one has managed to rise above this status, the other has only sunken into obscurity. Could he possibly redeem himself in the eyes of the fans or just fail miserably?

Interlude
ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN AT LEAST 60 SECONDS!

2 FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

AT LEAST 60 SECONDS!

MELEE!!!

Intro
Casino Night Zone Cue Music 1

Luigi walked out of the casino with the a spring in his step and the biggest smile on his face. He'd just hit the jackpot so hard that everybody accused him of cheating and kicked him out. But Luigi didn't mind that at all. He'd been kicked out of every Mario Party he'd ever attended for pretty much the same reason. It wasn't his fault he was doing so well. It was all thanks to a single piece of advice that Luigi now cherishes and holds close to his heart every day. That fortune cookie changed Luigi's life forever, though it also gave him a massive ego.

"Great fortune will come to those who do absolutely nothing." By some cosmic coincidence or another, this single sentence became true. Luigi now followed it in a religious manner with his every activity. Luigi jumped in joy once more, not even watching where he was going.

"OW!"

Luigi fell right on his ass when he barged into a strange man wearing an orange gi. "Ow, hey watch where you're going man!" Luigi simply scoffed and walked past the man, accidentally tripping along the way. "Mama mia!" He accidentally slapped Yamcha across the face along the way. This only put Yamcha in a bad mood. (Oh man, this guy must be trying to kill me! I'd better put on a brave face.) "Hey, that's just not nice! I'm gonna have to teach you some manners!" Yamcha shouted as he readied himself in a combat pose. "Mama mia." Luigi muttered as he readied himself as well.

TRIUMPH OR DIE...
'''FIGHT! '''Cue Music 2

Luigi stuck to his beliefs and did absolutely nothing as the fight began. Yamcha did a little brainstorming as he scanned his opponent. (Huh. This guy seems like he'll fall over after a slight breeze. I'd better go easy on him.) "Here I come!" Yamcha shouted as he performed a high jump kick to attack the green plumber.

...It wasn't very effective.

No, it was worse than that. Yamcha overshot his attack arc completely and flew far above the plumber's head. "Oh crap I missed!" His situation went from bad to worse as he noticed that he was heading straight for a strangely positioned warehouse of explosives.

"OH GOD NO! I can't stop iiiiiiiiiit!" These were Yamcha's last words as his attack collided with the warehouse, resulting in a massive explosion. "...Mama mia..." Luigi shuddered as he approached the carnage.

A massive crater lay where the warehouse once stood. Sure enough, there was poor Yamcha lying face down in the middle of the crater. Luigi thanked his beloved fortune cookie for his own safety as he paid a moment of respect for the fallen Z Fighter. Luigi had defeated Yamcha... by doing absolutely nothing.

KO!

A Few Hours Later...
Cue Music 3

"Hey boss, wanna see a joke?" "Did you just say SEE a joke?" "Yeah, I bet this'll really tickle your funny bone." "UGH."

Yamcha groggily opened his eyes to be greeted with some strange voices. "Oh, my head..."

"Oh, it's you again. You died so carelessly."

Yamcha had to take a few more moments to regain his bearings. "Where am I... Oh not again!" "Yeah, that's at least the fifth time... today. How is that even possible? And you still owe your debts from last time, remember?" "Right let me just- Oh crap! That green guy took my wallet!" Yamcha exclaimed in fear as he realized his situation.

"Look, I can't just bring you back to life for free, I have a job of my own to keep. If you can't pay up, your ass is staying here whether you like it or not. Sans, you deal with him." "Oh come on. I've already done a ton of work today. A-" 

"Yeah, I've heard that joke a million times already. So you take care of the dumbass here or you will be fired!" Hades stormed out of the room loudly. Yamcha could only look down in shame. ''"Yeah look buddy, how about we make a deal? If you win in a fight I've got set up for you, I'll ressurrect you for free. You won't have to wait at the SPINE of the line." ''

"Really? Sounds like a deal! I'll take you on any day!" Yamcha shouted with regained confidence. "Ha ha ha! You're kidding right? You thought I meant you'd be fighting me? Look kid, you'd get boned before I even have to lift a finger. No, no no. I've planned for you to fight another loser. he should be here any second now..."

Right on cue, a man that seemed to be composed entirely of silver suddenly appeared. He seemed to be in great pain since he was on the ground facepalming when he arrived. "Oh, that was just cheap. Why does dying have to be such a bitch?" ''"Oh buddy you didn't just die again, you got a Game Over. But I'll cut you a deal. If you can beat this loser here in a fight, I'll bring you back for free. Agreed?" ''

The NES incarnation of the Silver Surfer jumped to his feet in response. "Sounds fine by me! This should be a piece of cake!" "You really shouldn't underestimate me man." Yamcha and the Surfer got into position as Sans made himself comfortable. "Yo hold on! Let me just get some ketchup... All right! You two will fight for my amusement on my command! 3... 2... 1...

HEAVEN OR HELL...
''FIGHT! ''Cue music 4

WIP