When it comes to adventuring, it takes more than just skill. Sometimes, it also takes some damn good luck. What will happen when Indiana Jones takes on Uncharted's Nathan Drake?
One Minute Melee!
Where all the fights are settled in 60 seconds!
(Cue Character Select Remix; 0:00-0:15)
Player 1 indecisively highlights X-23, Green Arrow, Jack Cayman, Metal Sonic, Fei Long, Shantae, Jack Cayman again, and finally Indiana Jones. Player 2 immediately after just picks Nathan Drake.
(Character Select Remix fades out.)
“Kid, you better be doing what I hope you’re doing with that!”
Nathan Drake looks behind him, seeing another explorer talking to him: Indiana Jones.
Nathan responds, “Look, I’m just getting this thing for a guy. If he has malicious intent, then I’m pulling out of the deal, if that’s what you’re so worried about.”
Dr. Jones shakes his head. “Kid, you may think that you can get out of the same situations again and again, but trust me: that isn’t what happens. Besides, that idol has too much power for human hands to hold.”
“Look, I know what I’m doing. And stop calling me kid. I’m getting about as old as you are!”
(Cue Showdown; 0:20-0:25)
“Alright, looks as if we’re doing this the hard way!” Dr. Jones steps onto the bridge connecting his platform with the pillar and cracks his whip.
Nathan stares at his opponent’s weapon for a second. “Alright, that’s not what I expected.”
It’s do or die!
Nathan pulls out a handgun and shoots at the legs of Dr. Jones, who jumps forward and whips the gun right out of Nathan’s hands. He continues forward and swings a right hook. Nathan ducks to the right, picking his gun back up. As he rises, he slams the butt end of the gun right into Dr Jones’s cheek. Dr. Jones grabs said cheek as he gets behind a piece of fallen stone for cover, getting a handgun of his own out. He peeks above cover and fires at Nathan, forcing him to take cover himself.
The two take shots at each other in a continuous cycle of shooting and getting behind cover again to dodge shots. The two then run out of bullets. As Nathan reloads, Dr. Jones swings his whip at a hanging piece of stone, swinging himself at Nathan. Nathan, having just put a new clip into his gun, gets slammed right in the face, knocking him off of the pillar.
Nathan is fortunately able to grab onto a hanging vine as he falls, swinging on it back onto the side of the pillar. Right as Dr. Jones approaches the idol, Nathan reappears on the ledge of the pillar and takes another shot, this one scraping right by Dr. Jones’s arm. Nathan rushes forward and knocks Dr. Jones to the ground, followed by a stomp to the chest. Right as he goes for a shot to the leg, however, Nathan is himself tossed to the ground when Dr. Jones sweeps Nathan’s legs. Unfortunately for the both of them, Nathan falls right into the idol, knocking it off of the pressure pad.
Nathan gets up as the room begins to shake. Dr. Jones, meanwhile, quickly sends out a left hook at Nathan. Nathan just sends his own punch at Dr. Jones, grabs the idol, and runs through the exit.
Nathan makes his way through the temple’s corridors, just to find a big door covering the way. He puts the idol behind his strap. While he does push the door out of the way, it gives Dr. Jones ample time to catch up, whipping the idol out of Nathan’s strap. Nathan is quick to pick it back up, but Dr. Jones is quick to nab it away.
“This belongs in a museum!” he states as as he runs through the door and into another room. Nathan follows right after.
Nathan shoots again, but this time, when Dr. Jones dodges, the bullet hits a pressure pad on the floor, alerting the two to it. Nathan runs up and grabs on to the idol, but Dr. Jones holds his grip. Nathan throws a punch right into Dr. Jones’s face, forcing him to lose his grip and stumble backwards, just barely stepping on a pressure pad, and also just barely missing the arrow that comes from the wall. Dr. Jones lunges forward and kicks Nathan in the shin, forcing him to drop the idol. Dr. Jones picks it up and rushes through the field of pressure pads, making sure to step around them. Nathan follows after, also trying to dodge all of the pads. When he catches up, he bashes Dr. Jones with his elbow, not noticing the pressure pad he had just stepped on.
Right as an arrow wizzes past, the collapsing of the temple catches up. The two run forward, just barely escaping through a hole ahead.
The two land right on another pressure pad, this one causing a boulder to be released behind them. The two run from the boulder while both yanking the idol from each other. The two suddenly make it to a large gap. Dr. Jones stores the idol away before he clings his whip to a stable piece of hanging stone, but Nathan clings on to Dr. Jones before the two swing across. Dr. Jones looks down at Nathan, just to see something far worse in the pit: snakes.
Dr. Jones, in both effort and a bit of fear, shakes Nathan off before landing on the other side. Nathan, meanwhile, climbs up to the top, just barely missing a snake’s bite. When he gets up, he sees Dr. Jones up ahead, almost at the temple’s exit. Nathan takes another shot, this time getting Dr. Jones in the leg. Nathan runs up at the limping Dr. Jones and tackles him through the exit, which just so happens to be a long drop from the ground
The two tug at the idol, trying to get it.
Dr. Jones yanks it away.
Nathan grabs Dr. Jones’s arm
As Nathan pulls himself closer, he holds up his gun.
The two suddenly hit the ground rolling.
As they roll, Nathan swings the butt of his gun at Dr. Jones’s forehead.
Nathan hits Dr. Jones, knocking him unconscious.
Nathan picks up the idol and takes a good look at it. “Finally! Well, looks like kitty got wet-”
Suddenly, a canister lands next to Nathan. The canister then releases a gas that knocks Nathan out cold.
Nathan wakes up to find himself without the idol and tied to a chair, which in turn is tied to another chair, which in turn is tied to Dr. Jones.
Dr. Jones turns his head as much as he could to Nathan. “So, whatever happened to ‘pulling out of the deal?’”
(Cue Victory - Nathan Drake A)
This melee's winner is... Nathan Drake!